bila aku jauh.

kau fauzan, bodoh, bangang, kau panggil aku asshole, dalam satu ayat, kau boleh masukkan lebih kurang 10 perkataan 'fuck' or 'fucking', bila kau bad mood, kau diam, bila kau geram, mencarut sendiri.

tapi,

kau buat aku ketawa walaupun aku tengah separuh mati sakit. kau boleh buat lawak yang paling hambar hinggakan aku nak terseksa dengar, kau boleh buat impression banyak pelakon, kau hafal scenes How I Met Your Mother, kau call aku bila kau tak boleh tidur, kau buat muka hodoh bila aku bagi kau muka hodoh, kau ketawakan aku bila aku buat salah dan kau tegur aku bila aku buat benda yang melebihi bodoh, kadang-kadang kau join buat benda bodoh tu sekali.  kau insecure pasal diri kau.

kau penakut, kau bajet bajet, kau kelakar sangat-sangat, kau tahu lagu lagu yag aku suka, kau boleh join menyanyi dengan aku dalam kereta, kau naif sebab tak tahu cara-cara untuk jadi the uber-boyfriend, dan kau ada tetek.

kau, fauzan, kau awesome. 

macam mana aku boleh tak jatuh head over heels dekat kau?

pergi matilah dengan orang yang panggil kau gemuk. fuck them, diorang tak kenal kau. when i fell for you, i didn't fall for your looks, i fell for your personality. 

because you and i and similar but far too different. and i love you for that. thank you for being such a great best-friend and an awesome boyfriend

i can't promise you a marriage, kids or unconditional love. but i can give you a part of me that i know you can break, i can give you love that i know will never be gone if we ever break up, i can give you happiness, i can give you a shoulder to cry, a hand to help, a light to guide and a sun to light. i can give you reasons for you to believe in yourself. 

because sayang, you make me smile and laugh all the time. you impress me, you are not pretentious. because you are you. and i love you for that.

i wish you can see yourself through my eyes. i really do. then you will see how amazing you are fauzan. 

jaz

confession: so, my hemoglobin level is too low, that is why i am tired all the time. no internal bleeding or uterus problems. they are investigating my bone marrow. well..... insya Allah.

ps: the pictures above are the pictures that were sent to me whilst i was in the hospital. stupid faces to make my day. well it did made me laugh like a madman. constipated bastard, fauzan is.