parallel

i am dedicating this short story to Haifaa Ghazali.
with a message: cerpen cinta buat mu.



this is a story about parallel lines which are always equidistant with one another but never will they ever intersect. this is a story of Jibrail and Ana. how they meet but never really met.

Jibrail

hari ini terlampau berangin untuk hari hari biasa di KL Sentral. entah semacam beranginnya. bau pun semacam juga. yelah, baru balik kerja, dekat KL Sentral pulak tu, memang adatnya begitu. either kau tak bernafas ataupun kau mengalah dan serahkan hidung kau pada takdir dengan harapan, balik rumah nanti, hidung kau lega kembali.

Jibrail menyandarkan tubuh kuyunya di balik tiang. KTM memang kadang-kadang macam celaka. tapi, itu sahaja kenderaan yang dia punya untuk pulang ke rumah dan tidur. mahu tak mahu, tunggu kan saja. sambil dia sandar, Jibrail keluarkan sehelai kertas bersaiz A4 dari beg sandangnya dan menggunakan kelebihan kraf tangan yang dia punya untuk membuat sebuah kapal terbang kertas turbo. Abah dia yang ajar. katanya, dengan kapal terbang ini, sampai ke matahari ia boleh cecah. tapi bila dah besar, dia sedar Abahnya cuma filosofer semata. jarak paling jauh yang pernah kapal terbang kertas ini capai cumalah beberapa ratus meter.

selesai dengan perincian kapal terbang kertas tersebut, Jibrail layarkan dia ke udara dan entah mengapa, kapal terbang kertas tersebut kelihatan megah semacam di udara. terbang, terbang dan terbang sehinggalah kapal terbang kertas tersebut terpacak di atas kepala seorang perempuan yang berdirinya melepasi garisan kuning. riaknya tersentak. matanya membulat mencari tukang pembaling kapal terbang kertas itu ke arahnya dan mata perempuan tersebut dan mata Jibrail bertembung. Jibrail sengih busuk dan mengangkat sedikit tangannya tanda meminta maaf.

sesaat kemudian, keretapi di platform perempuan itu tiba dan beberapa saat kemudian, dia hilang dari pandangan. "comel." bisik Jibrail sendiri.


Ana

She can already hear the train churning towards her platform. She takes a deep breath and let it out. "Today is the day Ana." She whispers to herself and with that, she takes a little step further in front of the yellow line that separates the people from the danger of being snatched by the speed of the train and into the railway which is the exact opportunity that Ana wants. "Today is the day. You promised yourself this." She clutched her hand to her heart, to stop her heart from the pain, the agony of simply existing on this corrupted world. "This is your way out." She can hear the train coming closer towards her platform.

Then something lands on her pixie cut hair. Huh? Quickly she grabs it. "The hell?" She whispers slowly when she sees that it was a paper plane and her eyes quickly squandered across her platform and almost immediately she catches the eyes of a guy, smiling a guilty smile with his hand raised a bit. A second after, the train stops in front of her and the opened doors rapidly vomit a sea of people pushing one another to get out and to get in. Ana gets in.

"Fuck. Tomorrow. Tomorrow I will." She says whilst looking at the paper plane that landed on her head in her hand. This thing had denied her wish to die today. But not tomorrow. Before the train moves, her eyes search for the guy who threw this thing at her and she sees him, looking for her and a couple of seconds later, the train moves. She keeps her eyes on him until he is out of sight and from KL Central to her next stop, she keeps on wondering, why don't her eyes want to leave the sight of that guy.


Esok/Tomorrow


Ana

Again. She stands more than a couple of steps ahead of the yellow line. Awaiting for the angel of death to snap her out of this world. She glances at her watch, anxiously waiting for the train to drive full speed ahead against her and how happy she would be to finally escape. And the moment of pain whilst dying, she is going to not only endure it, but embrace every single second of the pain of the train that will soon hit her because that pain is literal and that will be the last hurtful thing that she will ever feel. ever again.

Funny how talking about death is the only thing that is keeping her alive.


Jibrail

Sedang Jibrail sibuk melukis di atas kertas A4 untuk membazirkan masa sementara menunggu keretapi, matanya sengaja melilau untuk mencari kelibat perempuan comel semalam. Entah, perempuan tu bukanlah comel macam Nora Danish or Sara Ali tapi dia cukup comel untuk buat Jibrail tertarik. dengan rambut pendeknya dan cara pakaiannya yang seolah-olah mahu menyorok daripada pandangan dunia. dengan sweater kelabunya dan seluar skinny jeans kelabunya dengan kasut converse rabaknya. entah. serba serbi kelam. "apa nama minah tu agaknya." tanya Jibrail sendirian.

tiba tiba, matanya jatuh pada perempuan tersebut. Jibrail tersenyum sendirian. "ini kira jodoh dah ni." dan kemudian dia ketawa sendiri. lantas dia menghabiskan apa yang sedang dia lukis di atas kertas A4 tersebut dan dilipatkannya untuk menjadi sebuah kapal terbang kertas seperti hari semalam. perasaannya semangat terlampau lah pula. apabila kapal terbang kertasnya sudah sempurna, dia acukan tepat pada perempuan tersebut dan terbanglah ia.


Ana

"Untuk perempuan berambut pendek yang konon lutsinar." was written on the paperplane that appears out of nowhere and landed right in front of her feet. Her eyes quickly scanned the opposite platform to find the guy from yesterday whom she assumed flew this paperplane to her today. And when she found him, he was already staring at her with his guilty smile and a raised up hand, as if he was trying to catch her attention before she even looked at him. His mouth is saying something and it takes awhile for Ana to understand what he is trying to say. "Bukak! Bukak!" She looks at him and she looks at the paperplane questionably. Then she looks at him again with her eyebrow slightly tilted, as a question mark sign. She then points at the paperplane and the guy nods happily. Slowly, Ana unfolds the paperplane hoping for a curse word or a bee, or maybe poison but she only sees herself in a form of cartoon staring back at her. For what it seems like the longest time, she smiles.

Without noticing, the train had already arrived when she folds the paperplane into its original form. Again, this paperplane, no, this guy had denied her wish to die.

"Tomorrow. I will do it tomorrow." But inside, she only wishes for another paperplane.


This, what i assume as a relationship goes on for a couple of weeks. everyday without fail, Jibrail will draw a caricature of her doing something stupid like the other day, he drew that girl pole dancing and from afar, he saw that girl laughed, timidly. And Ana, who promises herself to jump off that railway every day in her life had gotten distracted by the paperplanes. 


Jibrail

"alaaaa, fuck fuck fuck! aku nak baliklah!" jerit Jibrail dalam hati apabila dia terkandas di dalam lif di pejabatnya. "oooi!!!! bagilah aku keluar!!!!!!!!!!!" jeritnya dari dalam lif. gedegang gedegung sepak Jibrail di dalam lif tersebut. frust menonggeng tak dapat nak jumpa perempuan lutsinar itu hari ini.


Ana

Her eyes wander from left to right to front and back looking for that guy. Her heart beats faster that it should and her eyes, oh her weary eyes are teary. "Well it is time I suppose." She says to herself regarding her postponing her suicidal attempt for weeks. That guy, his paperplanes are the only thing that keeps her wanting to breathe until now.

Now, all Ana wants is to die.
From behind the yellow line, she takes a few steps crossing it.
Then, another, closing the gap between the railway and herself.


Jibrail

kalau boleh lari lagi laju, tambah booster ke, pakai jetpack ke, gerenti Jibrail sudah pakai. "sempat. tolonglah sempat." entah kenapa jantungnya meragam tak semena. macam ada benda buruk nak jadi.

fuhhh
fuhhh
fuhhh

sambil berlari, nak bernafas pun tak sempat.


Ana

The train. She can hear it coming. The sweet sound of escape. She closes her eyes. Today. Today there will be no guy and no paperplanes to stop her from what she was meant to be doing for a long time.


Jibrail.

Jibrail dengar akan ketibaan keretapi di platform perempuan lutsinar tersebut. lagi lajulah di pecut lari turun tangga dengan kapal terbang kertas di tangan untuk diterbangkan ke arah dia.

"tolonglah sempat."


Ana

Even as death awaits her, sub-consciously she is still hoping for something to stop her.that guy, a paperplane, a hand, a smile. Anything that will make the world looks livable for another day. Anything worthy of her breathing and enduring this pain of hers. Anything.


Jibrail

"Awak!!!" jerit Jibrail daripada jauh. keretapi makin dekat.


Ana

Ana's ears pick  up a voice among the sea of voices and the churning of the train. Her eyes land on the guy. He smiles at her. She replies his smile with a smile of hers. He waves his hand excitedly.

Ana laughs timidly. Calmed by the presence of the guy.



And she jumps.


Jibrail









fuck.





parallel kan?

jazminfauzan.


confession: i know that this is a long and quite slow. but i am experimenting. please forgive me. but i need to try.