to feel or not to feel

i feel things. not feel as in touching things with your hand, but feel as an emotional subject. and to this, i feel too much. i both despise and love this ability of mine because by feeling too much i can write so much better than i possibly imagine i could but then, it too will take it's toll on my emotion. what hurts you, will hurt me too.

if you had already known me, i am a listener and it is very seldom for me to talk. and when i listen, i do not simply nod along and say the things that you expect to hear from me. no, i will not ever do that you you. but what i will do is, i will break every inch of bones in my feet to fit them in your shoes. i will not only wear those shoes that you had worn, but i too will walk in it and try my best to get the blisters that your shoes had hurt you from. i will make sure that i bleed where you had bled and die where you died. i will wear your shoes and make it my own. then, i will take it off, give in back to you and i will tell you that i understand, not because i want to make you feel better but because i really do. because i feel what you felt. because, i will take whatever it is that had hurt you and let it hurt me too.

i feel, and with feeling, i understand and with understanding, comes the ability to write and for a self-proclaimed writer such as myself, this ability to feel-too-much is indeed a blessing.

but as a mortal being, i am not very sure if the same meaning can be applied.

jazmin

confession:  i am too happy to be sad yet too sad to be happy.
ps: it is too often for me to feel what others feel that i sometimes forgot the fact that i too, feel just as much as you do. sometimes, i forget that i too, have this discomfort feeling down inside my heart, where i just miss everything. everyone. and you (: